Monday, March 30, 2009

The Crying Game

If you have walked by my house today, or you happen to live next to me, please do not report me to CPS. We are not abusing our child, she is perfectly fine, I promise you. She just has decided to play a game of crying and see who wins. So far, 10 Eleanor, 0 Mommy. Clearly, she's whooping my butt at this. So far today she has cried over pooping her pants (literally), her daddy coming home, her daddy looking at her, her daddy holding her, her daddy trying to play with her, you get the picture. He had grown out his go-tee (however you spell that form of facial hair), and she must think this new hairless man murdered her beloved father, because she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore, much to all of our chagrin. She seriously acts as if she is being murdered herself when he tries to hold her. This has apparently translated to the fact that sleep is also now the devil, because it all happened at the same time. I swear she has become possessed when I try to put her down to bed or for a nap. Her back arches, arms fling out, and she lets out this bloodcurdling scream that would chill any ones bones. I find it amazing that a sound like that can come out of my daughter. Amazing really. I realized that I must only take her to her room for naps, bedtime, and diaper changes, because just walking into her room makes her start crying. *Note, must remedy this by making some fun playtime in her bedroom during the day*
And as frustrated and annoyed I get at her incessant crying that I can't do anything about, my heart melts all over again when she looks at me and smiles with that silly lopsided grin with only one dimple. She has me wrapped around those teeny tiny fingers, and well she knows it. I live each day for those smiles, and the tight hugs she gives me when I pick her up from bed in the morning, and the slobbery wet kisses she gives me spontaneously (I still love them just as much when she gives them to me when I ask).
In other related news, Eleanor has learned how to wave "bye-bye" and was only too happy to wave "bye-bye" to her "imitation, murdering" father this morning! My mantra for today is "this too shall pass. . ."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

A day in the park

Springtime is here, and I have been dying, literally falling on the floor dying, to get out the house and get out in the sunshine enjoying the perfect glory of it all. However, having a baby sick with pneumonia (did I not mention that we had to take her to Urgent Care on Tuesday, and she was diagnosed with pneumonia and an ear infection due to the sinus infection? She's been on antibiotics since and has been doing much better.) makes it hard to get outside enjoying the new flowers, the sunshine, the freshly cut grass, the green shoots popping up on trees and vines. Yesterday I put my foot down and said "We're going to the park whether you like it or not!" Of course, no one was opposed, and there was no reason for my insistence, as it seemed that everyone wanted to get out, so get out we did! We made a picnic of it, bringing dinner (by the time Eleanor woke up from an especially long nap it was no longer lunchtime) with us and a bright red blanket to lay our spread out on. It was very charming indeed. I could feel the all-American-ness of it oozing out of my poors.

Then came time for the custard filling, Eleanor's first swing ride! Oooh I had been waiting for this moment for quite some time. I had built it up in my head how perfect it would be, and how she would love it so much, and laugh, and giggle, and make the cutest faces. I was not disappointed. She looved the swings! So after some fun video and picture taking of the delight on swings, we took her to the slides, and had her go down with daddy. It was all perfection, she loved it all, the swings, the slides, the sweet spring air, the sunshine on our faces. Seeing it all through the eyes of our daughter enjoying the park for the very first time was incomparable. Simply brilliant!
Here is proof of our adventure:

Now go out side and enjoy the gorgeous spring weather instead of sitting hear reading me rant and rave about my perfect day and perfect child. It really must be getting old at this point! :-)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Thoughts on Death

As most of you know there was a plane crash in Montana Sunday afternoon, killing 14 people, 3 families including 7 children (and one on the way). These families were from the communities that I either currently live in or where I grew up, and while I didn't know them personally I know many close family and friends that do know them, and so it has hit home, and made this seem very personal.
Here is an article about the families:

So, all day as I have been cuddling my very sick baby, and trying my best to giver her comfort my thoughts have invariably led to death, and the instability of life. Its amazing how we take each day for granted, and think that we will have more and more moments to live to do the things we want, but the reality that we like to forget about is that it can all be taken away from us in an instant. While I've never been scared of death because I have faith of eternal salvation, I do have a sense of fear of death now that I have Eleanor. I don't fear for me, but I fear for her. I don't want to leave her alone without me. I don't want to miss watching her grow up. So, I've been thinking today about making plans for her in the case of Brandon and/or my deaths. Its a hard thing to do, thinking about leaving your children on earth without you, but while its hard - it is necessary. Its harder for me to think about what would happen if we didn't make arrangements, and provisions for her than being selfish and trying to ignore the whole morbid thought.

This has also led to think about my funeral, and while this may sound crazy, I have the urge to plan out my funeral - what I want to be dressed in, what music played, who to officiate and to be pall bearers, what the life sketch would say, etc. etc. This however, has nothing to do with me wanting to take care of my daughter, its purely selfish, I understand this. And for that matter, why should I care about what happens after my death? I won't be there to know if they follow my instructions, but I guess I just like having things planned out. I'm just that organized I guess!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Poor sick baby

Brandon and I have been sick for the past week, at least, with a fierce head cold. My sinuses are all messed up, Brandon had to even take a day off of work earlier this week to let himself heal and get back to his "normal" self (though he still isn't there). I was so hoping that with Eleanor still nursing she wouldn't get this sickness that both of her parents have managed to succumb to. She somehow managed to escape that awful flu virus I got (or maybe it wasn't really the flu. . .hmm). However, she was not able to evade this head cold that we have. So now the three of us are all sickies, a family of sickies if you will. I feel so bad for her because she can't blow her nose like we can, or cough up and spit out the mucous (I know, gross, sorry - but thats just the way of sickies like us) that has built up in her lungs. She just has to endure the dripping noses, the sore throats, the fever ridden body without being able to do anything to help herself. I can't even begin to imagine how frustrating that must be. I keep imagining her feeling trapped in her baby body, dying to be able to grow up and help herself.

At least in all of her misery she has gotten adorably cudly. All she wants is her "mamamammmma." It was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time cuddling up of the couch with her as she rested her head on my shoulder, wrapped her tiny hands and arms around me and just layed there. She tried to sleep on me, but of course every few minutes she had a coughing fit and woke herself back up. Then, instead of trying to help her nap more, we decided to give her dinner - which she loved until she projectile vomited it everywhere (coughed so hard she gagged, and she has a very sensitve gag reflex). Then of course it was off to bath (which was the highlight of her entire day, I am sure), and then to bed.

I didn't go out with Brandon like I was planning on, since we have Grandparents here to "watch" her while she sleeps because I knew I would be worried sick about her if I left my sick baby without her mommy. So, Brandon is out with his friends without me, and here I am blogging instead. Yes, I have become a neurotic, and I don't care what you say, if it was your baby you wouldn't be able to leave her sick, even if she was sleeping!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My SAHM Goals

(SAHM = Stay at Home Mom, for those that aren't "down" with the lingo)

Long before I gave birth to Eleanor I came up with some goals that I wanted to accomplish within the year of having her. Here are the goals, and how I've done:

My Outrageous Goals for 2008 to 2009

  • Move the first weekend of July without going into labor! *Ooops, guess that didn't happen, what with her coming on the NIGHT we moved.*
  • Have a "natural" childbirth experience (i.e. without drugs, so I can feel all the "natural" pain of it! ) *Sweet, check that one as done*
  • Get into a rhythm with Ella (a "schedule" if you will of regular sleeping, eating, playtime, etc habits.). I've read that this is best for the baby, if possible. *Check! She's a sucker for her routine*
  • Re-furbish the white hutch for Ella's room so that it more matches the color of dresser. Oops, this one hasn't gotten done

  • Also, make Ella's room a real "nursery" *Check! All it needs now is to put away her too small clothes and find somewhere for all of those diaper boxes. . .
  • Design and decorate the guest room for $200 or under. I would like curtains, a dresser, nightstand, pictures, a rug, and other décor. I plan on thrift shopping, baby! Checkety, check! We have a beautiful americana themed room, all it needs now is a braided rug and curtains.
  • Re-decorate our living room (curtains, pictures, new rug – since we'll have hardwood floors still, and other décor). Check! New couch and rug and a mirror make the room come together, but we're still missing a big piece of art for one of the walls.
  • Re-decorate bedroom with pictures and other decor. Check! New furniture and pictures make our room very cozy.
  • Organize all photos into albums (especially our WEDDING photos and baby photos), make and update Eleanor's baby album. Well, I'm still working on this. I have 1/2 done the wedding album as well as a baby photo album. I've been very good at updating her baby book.
  • Begin writing a novel or children's story *Check! I've begun writing and researching seriously a novel based on my grandparents (WWII setting, christian romance)
  • Lose all baby weight by Halloween. Will do this by doing pilates, taebo, and walking 2x a day (once in the morning by myself and the baby and the dog, and once in the evening with Brandon and all the aforementioned). *I guess I didnt make it in time for Halloween, but I've been very good at keeping up with exercise, and joined StrollerFit (workout group for women with babies, we work out with the babies) back in January. Love it!
  • Coupon clip and save lots of money on groceries I did serious research into coupons, and use some as much as possible, but its just not like it used to be back in my sisters coupon clipping days. . .*sigh*

Goals for 2009

  • Plant a garden come spring-time. I would like a vegetable/herb garden with tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, watermelon, basil, rosemary, chives. I would also like to have a beautifully landscaped backyard with green grass and flowers at the edging. * I sill have to work on this. Am planning to start the garden over spring break. I can't wait to dig in! I have planted bulbs and have been obsessing over every little shoot, and going out out digging in the places I planted them to see if any shoots are coming up. . .
I'll have to think of some new goals for this year besides planting a garden now. . .I guess I'll get back to you on that! :-)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My "right on track" baby

So I get this email today from some parenting site I must have signed up for, and it says:

One day you'll walk into your baby's room and find that little person standing up, grinning at you. Many 8-month-olds are strong enough to pull themselves onto their feet and stay there by holding on to you or a piece of furniture. A somewhat comical aspect of this wonderful development is that some babies know how to get up -- but not back down again. They will stand and stand as long as they can hold on, and finally either tumble down or cry to be "rescued."

And what do you know? Eleanor just started pulling herselp up to a standing position yesterday. I've found that throughout the emails that I get, invariably what it is saying she should be doing she is doing. There have been very few things that she hasn't been doing that it says she should. The big one though is the crawling thing. She still isn't crawling forward, though she still scoots herself backwards on hand and knee. She just doesn't have the coordination to go forwards yet, because obviously strength isn't an issue. Then of course, the internet is your own worst enemy, as it tells you all these important things that crawling does for your child's brain development, and that its crucial that your baby not skip the crawling stage. Now, of course I'm convinced Eleanor is going to skip the crawling phase and am paranoid this means she is doomed to a "C" average in school, or worse yet special ed classes and her own IEP. We've done everything we can to try to teach her to crawl, but she just hasn't caught on.

Well, I better sign off and go rescue my baby, as she has got herself pulled up to a standing position but can't figure out what to do now and is starting to freak out. Actually, I think I might sit here and listen to her calling "mamamaannaamamamananaa" its a beautiful sound.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pink Pee

We have been enjoying watching what the foods Eleanor eats does to the contents of her diaper, but this one actually caught me off guard and scared me this morning. I wasn't the one to change her diaper when she got up, but when I went into her room Brandon had left the diaper open on the changing pad for me. There was just urine, but her diaper had turned pink! A very pretty pink color actually, but that's not the point. Dirty diaper's should not be pink, whether its pretty or not! However, after but a moment of panic and screaming at Brandon asking what was wrong with our daughter, he reminded me that she had eaten "two cubes" of beets last night - which is more than she has ever had at once. We just introduced beets to her last week, and I wanted to start them with her slowly adding them into her other foods because I thought she'd have a hard time with them by themselves, its just one of those things, you know? We have finally worked her up to "2 cubes" (that would ice cube tray size cubes of pureed beets) of beets last night, and only one cube of another vegetable. This combination was apparently enough to turn her urine a pretty color of pink. Fabulous! Well, now we know.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Chattering Little Old Lady

Eleanor started this funny smacking of the mouth that makes me think of a little old lady missing her dentures. She does it out of nowhere, playing on the ground with her toys and then "smack, smack, smack!" She'll continue it for quite some time, and then when I laugh at her, she'll squish her nose up at me as if to say, "I can smack my lips any ol' time I want to Mama!" She's a riot, I tell ya.
Here is a picture of the infamous "nose squishing"

In other Eleanor news, she has started babbling "dada" (a couple days ago), and "mama" (today!). While I know she probably doesn't quite understand exactly what they mean, she know's we get excited when she says it, and so has been doing it a lot - but especially while she is in her crib going down for naps or just waking up, while she's playing, and when she is in her high chair. You get the point. :) I was getting pretty bitter about the fact that she was only saying "dada" and while it didn't mean anything, I still think I, as her own dear mother, deserve a little better than crummy seconds. Ha! However, she is starting to come around and say 'mama' too, so she must have sensed my hurt and is now attempting to make ammends. I can dream at least.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

I think I may have been away from Eleanor a lot more than usual lately, and therefore Brandon has been spending more time with her than usual, this coupled with her growing intelligence has made the meer act of him putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys make her melt down completely. It happened a couple of days ago, and I thought well maybe it was coincidence with her needing a nap, however the fact that it happened again today tells me that its not coincidence. She has learned that when Daddy puts on his shoes, grabs the keys, and puts on a hat that he's leaving her. Her!Oh, horror of all horrors!! Besides the crying, and flailing of the arms, she actually produces real tears. This is significant because there are many times where she cries and I know she's "faking" it because she doesn't have any tears. Not when Daddy leaves though. Oh no, there are tears a plenty for that!

It is so fun watching her begin to show real human emotions, and express herself. She's definetly made it out of the "baby blob" period and has made it into "baby aware" stage. She is also aware when things are out of the ordinary, such as when I was in the hosptial and unable to move. Just looking at her I could tell she knew something was not right, she didn't cry, she just kept looking at me, and wanting to hug me - which Brandon tried to let her do. I have such a sweet baby who just adores her parents!